Is money a primary reason for divorce?

Published: 01st July 2007
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Facts: Money as a reason for divorce:

Money and Divorce Fact: Money may be the main reason for divorce.

Statistics do show that the majority of marriages that end in divorce cite "money problems" as the number one reason for divorce. Obviously, arguing over finances can cause irreparable damage in a relationship.

Money and Divorce Fact: Money often masks another issue as a reason for divorce.

Even though money may seem like the primary reason for divorce, it often merely conceals more deeply rooted personal issues that may actually be reasons for divorce. Finances and owned objects are tangible. At times, it can just be easier to project abstract emotional issues onto what's concrete, and blame that as a reason for divorce. If you're struggling in your marriage ostensibly because of financial problems, we recommend that you carefully consider whether there's a larger problem at play. For many couples, the true reason for divorce may not be money styles at all.

Money and Divorce Fact: Actual reasons for divorce may be less obvious.

If you're wondering about money as a reason for divorce, try to objectively pinpoint what's involved in your arguments about money. What are the issues surrounding the money impasse? Are there recurring accusations you are hurling at each other? Do you resort to personal attacks? Where do these issues come from?

Money and Divorce Fact: By pinpointing an actual potential reason for divorce, you can address it before it's too late.

Ask yourself: What's involved in finding mutually satisfying resolutions to these arguments? In other words, what needs must you meet in order to restore your relationship's equilibrium? Are the needs related to trust in the relationship? To control? Or maybe they predate your marriage and go as far back as childhood. Many adults play out the dramas that they learned as children, and sadly, these dramas can become a reason for divorce.

When intense money battles erupt between you, it is always good to ask yourself: "Are we still talking about money, or is the real issue something else?" Another important tip is to not work through money problems while one of you is angry. And finally, if you still find yourself in a stalemate over a money issue, then consider consulting an objective third party who is trained in dealing with financial and communication issues. Getting this issue resolved before it becomes a reason for divorce is worth the effort. It just might save your marriage.

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